Thursday, June 24, 2010
You may have already figured this out
As an introvert I often have fantasies about being alone. I dream about my sister calling me up and asking if she could take my kids for me for a few days. Yes, days, not hours. I want several days. I have things I've been wanting to do that have been on the list for five years. My sister's wedding video for instance. I think I've probably sworn to her at least 30 different times that I would get it to her soon. Just recently I swore to her that I would have it done by August, gosh, I really hope that happens. Since I haven't even started it yet we will see.
I need time to organize and get to a place where I feel like I'm in control. Everyday I wake up and it seems like I am just reacting to the day. The boy needs a drink of water, the girl doesn't have anything to wear, the baby needs a diaper change, someone needs a bandaid, uh, the kids are fighting about something gotta go see what's going on, the cat threw up in the garage. Needless to say, I don't cope well with things like this when I am trying to get something done. So instead of stressing about stuff, I completely go with the flow. Probably to a fault. I say yes to just about everything. "Mom, can you read me a book?" I say "sure" even if I'm in the middle of making breakfast. Before I know it, I've burned the eggs again.
I would say I'm fairly good at dealing with the immediate things around me. I can be patient because my expectations of doing anything else flew out the window ten years ago. This is my life. The good thing about going with the flow is it helps me be happy. I play with the kids, I stay in the moment, I love my life, but here's the bad news, the laundry piles up, emails don't get returned, we're completely starving because nobody is in the kitchen making dinner, facebook friends get ignored, real life friends are never seen, the weeds don't pull themselves, and blog posts don't write themselves.
My list of blog ideas is two feet long and growing everyday. I have too many post ideas and not enough time to write them all. Last summer we did tons of things we never blogged about. I have pictures on my computer still waiting for me to write about them. Is it lame to write about something we did last summer? I don't know. I don't think so. It's on the list of things to do. I have other ideas, too, but I hesitate to share them in case I never get around to writing and posting them. How lame is that?
P.S. It took me 1.5 hours to write this and I was interrupted 13 times.
Posted by Amanda at 3:25 PM